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Attachment-based coaching

Come home
to yourself.

Understand the patterns shaping your relationships. Work with a certified attachment coach to build the secure, fulfilling connections you've always wanted.

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"Your attachment style isn't about who you are — it's about what you learned. And what was learned can be changed."

Attachment styles

Which patterns do you recognize?

Attachment styles form in childhood and quietly shape every relationship we have. Naming yours is the first step toward change.

01

Anxious

Constant worry about being abandoned or unloved. Seeking reassurance, difficulty trusting, feeling unsettled even in stable relationships.

Hyperactivating
02

Avoidant

Emotional distance as protection. Discomfort with vulnerability, over-reliance on self-sufficiency, pulling away when things get close.

Deactivating
03

Disorganized

Push-pull dynamics where intimacy feels both needed and threatening. Deep fear of both closeness and abandonment, often rooted in early trauma.

Disoriented
04

Secure

Comfortable with intimacy and independence. Able to communicate needs, handle conflict well, and trust others without losing yourself.

The goal
Integrated Attachment Theory

Your patterns aren't random — they're programmed.

IAT is a framework that helps you understand why you think, feel, and behave the way you do in relationships — and then gives you concrete tools to actually change it. Instead of just talking about problems, we systematically break them down and fix them at the root.

Why you're attracted

to certain types of people — even when you know they're not right for you.

Why you react

with anxiety, distance, overthinking, or shutting down — often without knowing why.

Why it keeps repeating

The same dynamics, different people. IAT shows you the root — and how to break the cycle.

→

Your relationship patterns aren't random. They're driven by subconscious programming formed early in life.

Core beliefs like "I'm not enough" or "I'll be abandoned" — emotional habits, unmet needs, communication patterns — all combine to form your attachment style. IAT works at this subconscious level, where the patterns actually live.

What we work through together
1

Identify your patterns

We map why you attract certain types, why you react the way you do, and what specifically triggers you. This awareness alone changes everything.

2

Find the root cause

We uncover your core wounds — the subconscious beliefs driving your emotions and behaviors. Things like "I'll be abandoned," "I'm not good enough," "I'm unsafe." These are the real drivers.

3

Reprogram those patterns

Instead of just coping, we change the beliefs underneath the behavior — rewire emotional responses through neuroplasticity, and build new, healthier patterns from the ground up.

4

Learn your needs

Most relationship problems come from unmet needs. We identify what you actually need — connection, certainty, and more — and teach you to meet those needs in healthy ways, without relying on old patterns.

5

Communication & boundaries

You'll learn how to express your needs clearly, stop people-pleasing or shutting down, and set real boundaries — without guilt, without losing yourself.

6

Emotional regulation

Instead of overthinking, anxiety spirals, pulling away, or chasing — you'll learn to process emotions, stay grounded, and respond instead of react.

Why this works

Most approaches focus on surface behavior. IAT works at the subconscious level — where your patterns actually live.

You don't just manage problems. You change how you're wired to respond.

What to expect

Stop repeating the same relationship patterns

Feel more secure and confident in who you are

Attract healthier partners and dynamics

Communicate clearly without anxiety or shutdown

Feel in control of your emotions and responses

Jay

"When you change your patterns, you don't just improve one area — you change everything."

About me

A different kind of guide.

I'm a father, pilot, and aviation trainer — and I still work in aviation today. But the work I find most fulfilling isn't in the cockpit. It's helping people understand and transform their attachment patterns.

Because attachment isn't just about dating. It shapes your entire life — how you connect with your kids, how you show up at work, your friendships, your confidence, your emotional well-being.

Your kids

How you connect and parent

Your work

How you show up and lead

Your friendships

Depth, trust, and belonging

Your confidence

Emotional well-being and self-trust

I've taken the same principles I've used in aviation — patience, clear communication, understanding the individual, and structured guidance — and applied them to helping people work through their attachment patterns step by step.

That's why I do this work. Because when you change your attachment patterns, you don't just improve one area of your life — you change everything.

What clients say

Real people, real shifts

"

Jay operates at a different level as an attachment coach. His ability to identify patterns in real time and break them down with precision is something I haven't seen before. There's a level of structure and clarity in how he explains things that makes complex emotional patterns feel understandable — and changeable. At the same time, he brings a calm, grounded presence that makes the process feel safe and focused. It's a rare combination of analytical depth and emotional intelligence.

AE
Ashley E.
"

My significant other wanted to advance the relationship to marriage and I did everything to fault find and create distance. I found myself starting arguments just to get space. I felt like I was losing myself. Luckily my partner convinced me to give this a try and now I can stay present in hard conversations without bolting. The tools I gained are things I'll use for the rest of my life.

JJ
Jason J.
"

I had a chaotic childhood, I thought it was me and my patterns were just who I was. Coaching helped me realize they were learned responses — and that they could be gently, sustainably unlearned.

ML
Mary L.

Already know what attachment work is and ready to get started?

$180
per session

In our first session we'll spend time looking at your history and current situation in order to narrow down your attachment patterns and build a custom program designed specifically for you.

What's included

  • 60-minute 1:1 session
  • Full history & situation review
  • Custom attachment pattern assessment
  • Personalized program outline
  • Email support between sessions
Book a session

Begin the journey home.

Your free 30-minute discovery call is a chance to share what you're navigating, ask questions, and feel into whether this work is right for you. No pressure. No commitment.

Schedule your free call →
FAQ

Questions? Answered.

Is attachment coaching the same as therapy?

No. Coaching is forward-focused and action-oriented — not a clinical treatment for trauma or mental health conditions. I am not a therapist. I am trained and certified in Integrated Attachment Theory by attachment expert Thais Gibson.

Do I need to be in a relationship to benefit?

Not at all. Attachment patterns show up in friendships, family dynamics, work relationships, and your relationship with yourself. Many of my clients come to coaching while single — and find it transformative.

That being said, many people advocate "finding yourself" or "being single for a while to heal" for long periods of time. I don't agree with that. You are hurt in relationships and you are healed in them — often the triggers only show up when you're actually in one. Either way, this program will help you earn secure attachment so that when you are ready, you'll be able to show up in a healthy, grounded way.

How quickly will I see results?

Many clients notice meaningful shifts in awareness and behavior within the first few sessions. The premise of this attachment work is that core wounds make us see the world and our relationships a certain way — they are the stories we tell ourselves. Fix the core wounds and we're most of the way there.

Typically each core wound requires about 21 days of work to resolve once we begin the actual program in our second session — and the process becomes exponential, meaning it doesn't take 21 days for every wound. A 4–6 week timeframe is a reasonable minimum expectation. Everyone moves at their own pace, and that's honored here.

The goal isn't for you to need me for months on end. The idea is to rewire the subconscious patterns that keep you telling and reliving the same story — the one that's been dictating your attachment style.

Are sessions conducted online?

Yes — all sessions are held via secure video call, so you can work from anywhere in the world. Many clients find the comfort of their own space actually supports the depth of the work.

I do ask that we keep video on as much as possible — it helps me read and connect with you much more efficiently, and I may need to screen share certain things during our sessions. That being said, if we occasionally need to have a session by phone, we can make that work.

Get in touch

Send me a message

Have a question or ready to get started? I'll get back to you within one business day.